NFL booths ignore the selfish play that couldn’t be missed

Tuesday I voted the straight party line. The Farewell Party. Not sure how much more of this I can take.

Consider that arguably the biggest moment in Sunday’s Jets-Dolphins on CBS went ignored. Late in the first quarter of a 0-0 game — one in which offensive conquest was measured in starting yard lines and field goals — Miami LB Kiko Alonso intercepted Sam Darnold’s pass at the Miami 28 and returned it to the 42 before pinched out of bounds.

Alonso, well after the play ended (and with his own history for excessive brutality), then instantly vanished, nailed high by 6-foot-5, 325-pound OT Brandon Shell. Shell was flagged. He should have been ejected and perhaps arrested for aggravated assault. Miami was given 15 more yards to the Jets’ 43.

On that possession, Miami would take a 3-0 lead in a 13-6 final that dropped the Jets to near-hopelessness at 3-6.

But on CBS that episode was totally lost, from the moment it happened through the end of the game. Andrew Catalon and James Lofton even failed to speak Shell’s name let alone what his unfathomable foul provided the Dolphins.

Next, more stumping for the Farewell Party. When the Dolphins went for it on a fourth-and-3, CBS posted a graphic enlightening us to the fact that on fourth-and-3-or-more, the 4-4 Dolphins are tied for tops in the NFL! Yep, one-for-one.

Thus, what we wouldn’t program in our database as too stupid for human inspection and reflection, CBS had loaded ready to go!

With 2:22 left in regulation, Miami up 13-6, the Jets had fourth-and-15 from their own 40 when DB T.J. McDonald intercepted a pass thrown right at him. He ran it back to his own 49 before sliding to the ground.

Catalon then suggested that McDonald should have kept running to make things tougher for the Jets. Lofton said he did the smart thing, not risking a fumble.

Stop! It was fourth down! Had McDonald simply knocked the ball down the Jets would have had to defend from worse field position — with 2:15 left.

But Catalon, Lofton and the Jets got another chance! With 35 seconds left, fourth-and-10 from their 48, Darnold threw a deep pass that, again, was foolishly intercepted, this time by CB Walt Aikens, who next obligatorily demonstrated his excessive self-affection to the approval of teammates.

Again, nothing from CBS’s booth. But both INTs will be statistically entered as good individual accomplishment.

At the same time over on Fox, the Farewell Party was holding a big rally.

Early in the second half, the ’Skins trailed Atlanta, 28-7, but circumstances brightened for Washington when Alex Smith completed a long sideline pass to WR Josh Doctson, who next decided to leave a message with the Falcons’ bench. Doctson, a TCU man, was called for taunting, big gain gone.

Fox’s Charles Davis didn’t pander. Doctson, he said, was more concerned with, “Look what I did!”

Late in the third, Washington RB Kapri Bibbs ran it in from the 5 then made with a hips-gyrating me-dance. His team was down, 28-13? So what.

Also on Fox, Sunday, the Bears were in the process of beating the Bills, 41-9, when Chicago LB Aaron Lynch, another college man — Notre Dame — drew extra attention then a flag for a lewd post-play me-dance that Moose Johnston classified as “classless.”

Next on Fox, there was that Michael Thomas pre-fabricated end-zone act in which the Saints’ WR waved teammates away in order to allow a clear view of him pulling a cellphone from beneath the goalpost padding — leaving nothing to chance, he had one planted beneath each — to further tell the world he’s an extra-special kind of professional college man, Ohio St.

That 15-yarder for unsportsmanlike conduct, although it seemed to meet with the full approval of his teammates, gave the Rams, down 10 with 3:52 left, both good field position and hope.

Troy Aikman said, “That’s not at all like Michael Thomas.”

But apparently it was.

So go ahead, gamble on all the games.

And remember: all of this garbage comes by invite of pandering Commissioner Goodell, who, rather than restore some sport to his sport, encouraged players to perform acts of excessive immodesty.

And that’s now how Commissioner Manfred is encouraging kids to play baseball.

Farewell Party. We’re Rob Manfred and Roger Goodell and we approved this message.

Football announcers are all talk

Those voices in our heads: Fellas such as NBC’s Cris Collinsworth and ESPN’s Monday Nightmare Football trio sold as “Tess,” “Witt” and “Boog” (Joe Tessitore, Jason Witten and Booger McFarland), are they under orders to yak all game or do they do so on their own?

And Joe Buck’s, “I’m Joe, he’s Hall of Famer Troy Aikman” open never grows old!

Saturday, after Clemson’s versatile DL Christian Wilkins blocked a Louisville PAT, ESPN’s Mark Jones exclaimed, “His ubiquity is so impactful!” Took the words right outta my mouth.

Why are marathons, including Sunday’s NYC race, a distance of 26 miles, 385 yards (42.195 km)?

In his excellent 1986 book “Hitler’s Games” about the 1936 Berlin Olympics, author Duff Hart-Davis explains marathons were a flat 25 miles until the 1908 London Olympics when they were extended to 26.219 miles “to humor” 12-year-old Princess Mary by starting the race beneath the windows of the Royal Nursery at Windsor Castle.

Law gets last word as Carton stands convicted

For all his defiant blustering of total innocence, prison-bound Craig Carton went down easily and quickly, last in line of his co-scammers thus no deals available, no credible defense for a jury to debate.

His Majesty Mike Francesa is the only one left who doesn’t know he’s a self-important jackass. On Tuesday’s election: “I voted for a couple of state senators I know.”

All those teams in black, including Ohio St., last Saturday? Time to recruit student-athletes who would choose a college based on uniform colors.

Wanna neat stat? Saturday, in its first possession against Air Force — as seen on CBSSN — Army scored a TD on a 75-yard, 21-play drive that ran 13 minutes!

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