Final NFL mock draft: The Giants and Jets land their weapons
The Serby Mock 5.0 — aided by a pair of Deep Throats in garages in close proximity to the Quest Diagnostics Center and The Atlantic Health Jets Training Center — has Giants GM Dave Gettleman landing Saquon Barkley and Jets GM Mike Maccagnan embracing Baker Mayfield.
QB Sam Darnold, USC
Because GM John Dorsey hates fake news as much as anyone, Hue Jackson learns this is the latest franchise quarterback only when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell makes the announcement.
RB Saquon Barkley, Penn State
The gold-jacket guy who has been described as a bigger Barry Sanders and is more dangerous as a receiving weapon.
QB Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma
The first hint came Wednesday night, when GM Mike Maccagnan was spotted dining at a swank Florham Park restaurant sporting a headband. Fasten your seatbelts: Here comes Broadway Baker. Hide the women and children if Bill Belichick refuses to shake the kid’s hand.
DE Bradley Chubb, N.C. State
The draft’s best pass rusher meets Myles Garrett at the quarterback.
G Quenton Nelson, Notre Dame
John Elway knows a gold-jacket guy when he sees one. Just line up this Nasty Boy next to LT Garett Bolles and make Case Keenum a happy new camper.
6. Bills (from Colts)
QB Josh Allen, Wyoming
Accuracy is an issue, but blind fans will come to the stadium to listen to the big-armed QB throw.
S Derwin James, Florida State
A much-needed enforcer and playmaker in a quarterback-rich division, whom some consider the best defensive player in the draft.
LB Roquan Smith, Georgia
Anyone who draws comparisons to Ray Lewis and Patrick Willis qualifies as a Monster of the Midway.
9. Cardinals (from 49ers)
QB Josh Rosen, UCLA
GM Steve Keim trades up ahead of the Dolphins and promises to install as many hot tubs as Chosen Rosen would like in his new digs.
T Kolton Miller, UCLA
A 6-foot-9 Gruden Grinder who will protect Derek Carr long after 34-year-old Donald Penn is gone.
QB Lamar Jackson, Louisville
Ryan Tannehill hasn’t exactly been Dan Marino, and if GM Mike Tannenbaum can roll the dice on Tim Tebow, he won’t hesitate getting Adam Gase a Lethal Weapon like this.
LB Tremaine Edmunds, Virginia Tech
A 6-5, 253-pound, 19-year-old freak with 4.54 speed for a defense that is desperate for a 6-5, 253-pound, 19-year-old freak with 4.54 speed.
NT Vita Vea, Washington
When you play Ezekiel Elliott twice a year, and maybe Saquon Barkley as well, you better have a 347-pounder compared to Haloti Ngata alongside Jonathan Allen as a roadblock.
CB Denzel Ward, Ohio State
The best corner in the draft falls in DC Mike Pettine’s lap.
DE Harold Landry, Boston College
DC Robert Saleh needs someone to bring the heat.
T Mike McGlinchey, Notre Dame
Ozzie Newsome gives Joe Flacco time to throw to his new receivers with a 6-foot-7 plug-and-play right tackle.
S/CB Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama
DC Gus Bradley is pleasantly surprised to land this replacement for FS Tre Boston.
DE Marcus Davenport, UTSA
Michael Bennett is gone, and the best way to protect the fading Legion of Boom is with a 6-6, 264-pound pass rusher who will need development.
LB Leighton Vander Esch, Boise State
As long as his neck checks out, Jerry Jones waits on a Dez Bryant replacement for this rangy, 6-4, 256-pounder given Sean Lee’s age (32 in July) and durability issues.
DT Taven Bryan, Florida
Former Gator teammate, LB Jarrad Davis, vouches for this son of a Navy SEAL. HC Matt Patricia will love his motor and positional versatility.
C/G Frank Ragnow, Arkansas
A nasty plug-and-play starter who loves his pancakes upgrades a decimated OL.
C James Daniels, Iowa
With Eric Wood gone, Josh Allen will need someone to hike it to him.
WR D.J. Moore, Maryland
Tom Brady will be in a better mood when this compact run-after-catch demon replaces Brandin Cooks and Danny Amendola and offers insurance for Julian Edelman.
G Isaiah Wynn, Georgia
A self-proclaimed relentless finisher to replace Andrew Norwell.
OLB Lorenzo Carter, Georgia
If a guy is 6-6, 250 pounds and can rush the passer, and Mike Vrabel is there to groom you, it’s OK to reach a bit.
DT Da’ron Payne, Alabama
A 311-pound immovable object to pair with Grady Jarrett.
WR Calvin Ridley, Alabama
Luckily for Drew Brees, the best route-runner in the draft is a silky smooth complement to Michael Thomas.
ILB Rashaan Evans, Alabama
A three-down replacement to mitigate the loss of Ryan Shazier.
TE Hayden Hurst, South Carolina
A 6-5, 250-pound target with 4.68 speed for Blake Bortles who grew up in Jacksonville.
C/G Billy Price, Ohio State
Can slide right in next to former Buckeye teammate C Pat Elflein to replace retired RG Joe Berger in front of Kirk Cousins.
CB Jaire Alexander, Louisville
A ballhawk bookend for Stephon Gilmore to help replace Malcolm Butler.
RB Sony Michel, Georgia
Might do for Carson Wentz, when he returns, what Alvin Kamara did for Drew Brees.
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