Final NFL mock draft: The Giants and Jets land their weapons

The Serby Mock 5.0 — aided by a pair of Deep Throats in garages in close proximity to the Quest Diagnostics Center and The Atlantic Health Jets Training Center — has Giants GM Dave Gettleman landing Saquon Barkley and Jets GM Mike Maccagnan embracing Baker Mayfield.

1. Browns

QB Sam Darnold, USC

Because GM John Dorsey hates fake news as much as anyone, Hue Jackson learns this is the latest franchise quarterback only when NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell makes the announcement.

2. Giants

RB Saquon Barkley, Penn State

The gold-jacket guy who has been described as a bigger Barry Sanders and is more dangerous as a receiving weapon.

3. Jets

QB Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma

The first hint came Wednesday night, when GM Mike Maccagnan was spotted dining at a swank Florham Park restaurant sporting a headband. Fasten your seatbelts: Here comes Broadway Baker. Hide the women and children if Bill Belichick refuses to shake the kid’s hand.

4. Browns

DE Bradley Chubb, N.C. State

The draft’s best pass rusher meets Myles Garrett at the quarterback.

5. Broncos

G Quenton Nelson, Notre Dame

John Elway knows a gold-jacket guy when he sees one. Just line up this Nasty Boy next to LT Garett Bolles and make Case Keenum a happy new camper.

6. Bills (from Colts)

QB Josh Allen, Wyoming

Accuracy is an issue, but blind fans will come to the stadium to listen to the big-armed QB throw.

7.  Bucs

S Derwin James, Florida State

A much-needed enforcer and playmaker in a quarterback-rich division, whom some consider the best defensive player in the draft.

8. Bears

LB Roquan Smith, Georgia

Anyone who draws comparisons to Ray Lewis and Patrick Willis qualifies as a Monster of the Midway.

9. Cardinals (from 49ers) 

QB Josh Rosen, UCLA

GM Steve Keim trades up ahead of the Dolphins and promises to install as many hot tubs as Chosen Rosen would like in his new digs.

10. Raiders

T Kolton Miller, UCLA

A 6-foot-9 Gruden Grinder who will protect Derek Carr long after 34-year-old Donald Penn is gone.

11. Dolphins

QB Lamar Jackson, Louisville

Ryan Tannehill hasn’t exactly been Dan Marino, and if GM Mike Tannenbaum can roll the dice on Tim Tebow, he won’t hesitate getting Adam Gase a Lethal Weapon like this.

12. Colts

LB Tremaine Edmunds, Virginia Tech

A 6-5, 253-pound, 19-year-old freak with 4.54 speed for a defense that is desperate for a 6-5, 253-pound, 19-year-old freak with 4.54 speed.

13. Redskins

NT Vita Vea, Washington

When you play Ezekiel Elliott twice a year, and maybe Saquon Barkley as well, you better have a 347-pounder compared to Haloti Ngata alongside Jonathan Allen as a roadblock.

14. Packers

CB Denzel Ward, Ohio State

The best corner in the draft falls in DC Mike Pettine’s lap.

15. 49ers

DE Harold Landry, Boston College

DC Robert Saleh needs someone to bring the heat.

16. Ravens

T Mike McGlinchey, Notre Dame

Ozzie Newsome gives Joe Flacco time to throw to his new receivers with a 6-foot-7 plug-and-play right tackle.

17. Chargers

S/CB Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama

DC Gus Bradley is pleasantly surprised to land this replacement for FS Tre Boston.

18. Seahawks

DE Marcus Davenport, UTSA

Michael Bennett is gone, and the best way to protect the fading Legion of Boom is with a 6-6, 264-pound pass rusher who will need development.

19. Cowboys

LB Leighton Vander Esch, Boise State

As long as his neck checks out, Jerry Jones waits on a Dez Bryant replacement for this rangy, 6-4, 256-pounder given Sean Lee’s age (32 in July) and durability issues.

20. Lions

DT Taven Bryan, Florida

Former Gator teammate, LB Jarrad Davis, vouches for this son of a Navy SEAL. HC Matt Patricia will love his motor and positional versatility.

21. Bengals

C/G Frank Ragnow, Arkansas

A nasty plug-and-play starter who loves his pancakes upgrades a decimated OL.

22. Bills

C James Daniels, Iowa

With Eric Wood gone, Josh Allen will need someone to hike it to him.

23. Patriots

WR D.J. Moore, Maryland

Tom Brady will be in a better mood when this compact run-after-catch demon replaces Brandin Cooks and Danny Amendola and offers insurance for Julian Edelman.

24. Panthers

G Isaiah Wynn, Georgia

A self-proclaimed relentless finisher to replace Andrew Norwell.

25. Titans

OLB Lorenzo Carter, Georgia

If a guy is 6-6, 250 pounds and can rush the passer, and Mike Vrabel is there to groom you, it’s OK to reach a bit.

26. Falcons

DT Da’ron Payne, Alabama

A 311-pound immovable object to pair with Grady Jarrett.

27. Saints

WR Calvin Ridley, Alabama

Luckily for Drew Brees, the best route-runner in the draft is a silky smooth complement to Michael Thomas.

28. Steelers

ILB Rashaan Evans, Alabama

A three-down replacement to mitigate the loss of Ryan Shazier.

29. Jaguars

TE Hayden Hurst, South Carolina

A 6-5, 250-pound target with 4.68 speed for Blake Bortles who grew up in Jacksonville.

30. Vikings

C/G Billy Price, Ohio State

Can slide right in next to former Buckeye teammate C Pat Elflein to replace retired RG Joe Berger in front of Kirk Cousins.

31. Patriots

CB Jaire Alexander, Louisville

A ballhawk bookend for Stephon Gilmore to help replace Malcolm Butler.

32. Eagles

RB Sony Michel, Georgia

Might do for Carson Wentz, when he returns, what Alvin Kamara did for Drew Brees.

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