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<\/p>\nIt\u2019s tale as old as Biden\u2019s left hip.<\/p>\n
When young, beautiful starlets marry handsome boy-band hunks, we yearn for every detail of their fanciful fairytale, sipping the sweet Champagne of their effortlessly sexy story.<\/p>\n
When they inevitably divorce, we gorge on their misery, ravenous for tawdry titbits and dirty laundry, desperate to apportion blame, to say we saw it coming from the start, to appoint a victor and villain in the sordid split saga.<\/p>\n
So it is with once-iconic bro-ician Joe Jonas and his impossibly stunning, almost-former wife Sophie Turner.<\/p>\n
Anyone not suffering short-term memory loss knows Joe as a notorious skirt hound who has bedded and promptly discarded some of the most sought-after lovelies on the planet.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s frolicked with fellow singing stars Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift \u2013 dumping the latter on a 27-second phone call \u2013 and even once \u2018joking\u2019 live on TV that he\u2019d \u2018kill\u2019 another ex-bae, luscious leggy Gigi Hadid, if push came to shove.<\/p>\n
So, you\u2019ll excuse me for feeling somewhat suspicious as Joe\u2019s wife of four years, and mother of his two young daughters, has come under some rather catastrophic reputational shrapnel as of late.<\/p>\n
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When young, beautiful starlets marry handsome boy-band hunks, we yearn for every detail of their fanciful fairytale.\u00a0When they inevitably divorce, we gorge on their misery, desperate to appoint a victor and villain. (Pictured: Sophie Turner in Birmingham on Saturday).<\/p>\n
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So it is with once-iconic bro-ician Joe Jonas and his almost-former wife Sophie Turner.\u00a0Anyone not suffering short-term memory loss knows Joe as a notorious skirt hound who has bedded and promptly discarded some of the most sought-after lovelies on the planet.<\/p>\n
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So, you\u2019ll excuse me for feeling somewhat suspicious as Joe\u2019s wife of four years, and mother of his two young daughters, has come under some rather catastrophic reputational shrapnel as of late. (Pictured: Joe and Sophie together in 2019).<\/p>\n
Ever since the first faint whisperings earlier this week that Joe, 34, was filing for divorce from Sophie, 27, the Game of Thrones actress has taken a non-stop hammering, traduced as a hard partying sh**ty mom desperate to reclaim her stolen youth.<\/p>\n
Here was a \u2018source with direct knowledge\u2019 to gossip site TMZ, straight out the blocks on Tuesday: \u2018She likes to party, he likes to stay at home. They have very different lifestyles.\u2019<\/p>\n
Footage showing Sophie downing cheap cocktails and shots was neatly transposed with snaps of Joe on Wednesday, out with their two daughters in LA \u2013 the implication that he\u2019s heroically caring for them alone, balancing a Jonas Brothers tour schedule, and being an all-round fabulous guy, while Soph\u2019s off on a sloppy hot girl summer binge-fest in Britain.<\/p>\n
And then came that preposterous \u2018ring camera\u2019 tease.<\/p>\n
\u2018Multiple sources who have direct contact with Joe\u2019 \u2013 who could <\/span>they be? \u2013 claiming again to TMZ that he saw footage of Sophie \u2018saying and\/or doing SOMETHING\u2019 which confirmed his decision to leave her.<\/p>\n Who knows what the footage shows. Frankly, who cares?<\/p>\n As if it wasn\u2019t hard enough navigating parenthood of a three and one-year-old through a divorce, imagine having the entrenched apparatus of a globally beloved boy band whose name is synonymous with the kind of wholesome All American goodness you\u2019ll find in a bag of Cracker Jack working against you.<\/p>\n Because that\u2019s what this feels like, right?<\/p>\n Now of course, if Sophie has indeed been off carelessly sinking double vodka sodas with mojito chasers, leaving Dad back across the Atlantic with the two girls, then there should be serious cause for concern.<\/p>\n Ever since the first faint whisperings earlier of divorce this week, Sophie has taken a non-stop hammering, traduced as a hard partying sh**ty mom desperate to reclaim her stolen youth.\u00a0Footage showing Sophie downing cheap cocktails and shots was neatly transposed with snaps of Joe on Wednesday, out with their two daughters in LA.<\/p>\n But I\u2019m going to go out on a limb and say I don\u2019t buy it \u2013 Sophie as this unhinged rum-soaked genie in a bottle who poor Joe wasn\u2019t able to rub the right way. And not least because it seems she has only been in the UK for work purposes, filming a new show.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve also seen plenty of pictures of this once-happy duo having harmless fun together with a cocktail or two. And that\u2019s to say nothing of the many images of Joe alone, clearly no stranger to inebriation, matted chest hair out, chugging away.<\/p>\n Perhaps Joe thought we\u2019d all forget that time during Covid\u00a0when he said Sophie <\/span>was the \u2018homebody\u2019 in the relationship. Or the 2020 interview in which Sophie described Joe <\/span>as a \u2018social butterfly\u2019.<\/p>\n \u2018I\u2019m an introvert\u2026 I leave the house, like, once a day\u2026 I struggle to lock him down and have him just spend time with me,\u2019 she said.<\/p>\n Yet now it\u2019s all Joe the hardworking, doting dad \u2013 and Sophie the walking episode of Girls Gone Wild stuffing tequila-stained dollar bills into a Magic Mike model\u2019s g-string.<\/p>\n \u2018Sources\u2019 close to Joe might think they\u2019re protecting his oh-so-cheesy-clean persona with these vulgar mudslings, but they only harm the one person he should be fighting to protect: The mother of his little girls.<\/p>\n Turfing her hurts them \u2013 and it also flies in the face of this preposterous joint statement: \u2018After four wonderful years of marriage we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage. There are many speculative narratives as to why but, truly this is a united decision, and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children.\u2019<\/p>\n I\u2019m going to go out on a limb and say I don\u2019t buy it \u2013 Sophie as this unhinged rum-soaked genie in a bottle who poor Joe wasn\u2019t able to rub the right way. And not least because it seems she has only been in the UK for work purposes, filming a new show.\u00a0I\u2019ve also seen plenty of pictures of Joe, clearly no stranger to inebriation, matted chest hair out, chugging away.<\/p>\n \u2018Sources\u2019 close to Joe might think they\u2019re protecting his oh-so-cheesy-clean persona with these vulgar mudslings, but they only harm the one person he should be fighting to protect: The mother of his little girls.<\/p>\n Oh, barf in my mouth! How Under Siege Sophie must have gritted her teeth. How dignified her staid silence has been.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2023\/09\/08\/14\/75213443-12493985-image-m-25_1694178077123.jpg\")
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