Not since the summer of 2017, when Swift was photographed awkwardly hugging new beau Tom Hiddleston \u2013 himself in a deeply embarrassing, sodden, skin-clutching tank top reading, \u2018I Heart TS\u2019 \u2013 has one of her high-profile romances seemed so\u2026 pained. Stiff. Un-electric.<\/p>\n
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Why is Taylor Swift stuck on repeat? In every other aspect of her life and career, the 33-year-old is a marvel of artistry, image control, and work ethic.\u00a0So why is she playing out what looks like yet another cynical faux-mance? One whose choreography seems clunky, overly staged and sadly juvenile?<\/p>\n
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Not since 2017, when Swift was photographed awkwardly hugging new beau Tom Hiddleston \u2013 himself in a deeply embarrassing, skin-clutching tank top reading, \u2018I Heart TS\u2019 \u2013 has one of her high-profile romances seemed so\u2026 pained. Stiff. Un-electric. (Pictured: Travis Kelce).<\/p>\n
When was the last time we saw a burly pro athlete, a star of one of the most violent sports in America, reduced to making friendship bracelets and wearing a pastel denim game-day suit, evocative of a tween\u2019s mall trip to Claire\u2019s?<\/p>\n
A suit oh-so-coincidentally named the ‘1989’ \u2014 you know, same as the album Swift is currently re-recording, due out in October. Now that’s corporate synergy!<\/p>\n
Note to Travis Kelce: Dating Taylor Swift may be more dangerous than any on-field injury you could sustain.<\/p>\n
Here was the two-time Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl winner in July, on the podcast he shares with his brother Jason \u2013 who plays for the Philadelphia Eagles, Swift\u2019s home team, ahem <\/span>\u2013 talking about his failed attempt to meet Swift after her show at Arrowhead Stadium (home of the Chiefs).<\/p>\n \u2018If you\u2019re up on Taylor Swift concerts, there are friendship bracelets,\u2019 Kelce said. \u2018I received a bunch of them being there, but I wanted to give Taylor Swift one with my number on it.\u2019<\/p>\n Dear lord. Why not just pass her a note in third period asking if she likes you?<\/p>\n Anyway, Kelce, also 33, was denied: \u2018I was disappointed that she doesn\u2019t talk before or after her shows because she has to save her voice\u2026 So I was a little butt-hurt I didn\u2019t get to hand her one of the bracelets I made for her.\u2019<\/p>\n Note the contradiction, as any Easter-egg-hunting Swiftie would: First Kelce said he passively \u2018received\u2019 friendship bracelets, then he said he \u2018made\u2019 them for her. Which is it? Because the image of a middle-aged pro footballer earnestly crafting homemade friendship bracelets for his latest crush is priceless. The stuff of Super Bowl commercials.<\/p>\n When was the last time we saw a burly pro athlete, a star of one of the most violent sports in America, reduced to making friendship bracelets and wearing a pastel denim game-day suit, evocative of a tween\u2019s mall trip to Claire\u2019s? A suit oh-so-coincidentally named the ‘1989’ \u2014 you know, same as the album Swift is currently re-recording, due out in October.<\/p>\n Picture it: Kelce, manifesting his new romance with Taylor by building a vision board, hearts and stickers and cut-outs of her all over it, then hanging it on his bedroom wall, just so; hitting \u2018refresh\u2019 on her website as he tries to score the very best Swift tickets; getting a backstage pass only to be turned away by security, forlorn as the little boy in the legendary \u2018Mean Joe Greene\u2019 Coca-Cola ad, trying everything to ingratiate himself until the superstar tosses off a sweaty jersey as a thanks and a keepsake.<\/p>\n By August we had an update \u2013 again, conveniently, on the Kelce brothers\u2019 podcast.<\/p>\n \u2018We\u2019re not gonna bring up Taylor Swift this episode,\u2019 Jason said, bringing up Taylor Swift that episode.<\/p>\n The sizzling-hot topic: Kelce\u2019s facial hair, which he grows during every training camp. \u2018Something tells me she\u2019s gonna like it.\u2019<\/p>\n These \u2018will-they-won\u2019t-they?\u2019 moments have generated more publicity for Travis than his 2016 E! reality dating show \u2018Catching Kelce\u2019 (cancelled after one season), his \u2018Saturday Night Live\u2019 hosting gig back in March and his Super Bowl wins combined.<\/p>\n Perhaps this romance-showmance is filling a hole left by the SAG-AFTRA strike. Nature abhors a vacuum and all.<\/p>\n Smash cut to Sunday night: There was Taylor come to life, in her signature lipstick, wearing red and white \u2013 Chiefs colors \u2013 cheering next to Kelce\u2019s mom, roaring, \u2018Let\u2019s f***ing go!\u2019 after he scored a touchdown, and generally over-emoting like a Real Housewife: The jaw-drop, the double thumbs-up, the inelegant chest-bump.<\/p>\n The chyron underneath identified Swift as a 12-time Grammy award winning artist. Shouldn\u2019t that be enough? Why is she debasing herself like this? Chewing the scenery? Screaming in Kelce\u2019s poor mother\u2019s ear?<\/p>\n Remember, Tom Hiddleston\u2019s mom was photographed with Taylor too. Less than three months later, that grand love story was over.<\/p>\n No surprise, then, that all the post-game footage of Kelce and Swift is so stiff and obvious: The two walking out of Arrowhead Stadium together, driving off in a convertible with the top down, the reports that Swift hastily cleared a nearby restaurant by paying every customer\u2019s bill.<\/p>\n Yes, this all feels the stuff of genuine romance. The kind you protect in the early days, before you know if it’s probably going to work. As sacred and novel as Leonardo DiCaprio and his merry-go-round of models, turfed out once they hit 25.<\/p>\n On Sunday night, there was Taylor come to life, cheering next to Kelce\u2019s mom, roaring, \u2018Let\u2019s f***ing go!\u2019 But all the post-game footage of Kelce and Swift felt so stiff and obvious: The two walking out of the stadium together, driving off in a convertible with the top down, the reports that Swift cleared a nearby restaurant by paying every customer\u2019s bill.<\/p>\n It\u2019s not as if Swift doesn\u2019t know how to keep a relationship private. Her most significant, with actor Joe Alwyn, lasted six years until their break-up in April. Whatever the cause, that remains confidential too.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/1s\/2023\/09\/26\/00\/75829571-12559527-image-m-19_1695683408983.jpg\")
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